Latest episode · Episode 04 · July 17, 2026
From Child to Loss in 3 Weeks.
"When he got diagnosed, we got pregnant." Three weeks was all that separated the day Ruslan buried his older brother and the day he held his newborn son — one gave him purpose, the other gave him pain, and instead of pulling him away from God they pulled him in. Youngest of six, no high school, no rock bottom, one girl since he was fifteen: a slower-burn testimony about grief that draws you closer, faith you'll never prove, and what it means to be an anchor instead of a sailboat.
Show notes
"When he got diagnosed, we got pregnant."
Three weeks. That's how close together Ruslan buried his older brother and held his newborn son. One gave him purpose. The other gave him pain. And landing that close together, they didn't pull him away from God — they pulled him in.
Ruslan will be the first to tell you he's boring. Youngest of six, came to this country at three, never finished a single day of high school, never touched a drink or a drug, dated one girl since he was fifteen and married her. No rock bottom. No dramatic fall. Just a Slavic kid who built a business and a family on what he calls "delusional, blind faith" — and who quietly refused to become the person everyone had already decided he was.
This one's a slower burn: grief that draws you closer instead of breaking you, faith you'll never be able to prove, the eighteen summers you actually get with your kids, why "being a good person" was never going to be enough, and what it really means to be an anchor instead of a sailboat.
If you've ever carried a loss you couldn't explain — or you're just tired of pretending you've got it all figured out — this is the one to sit with.
The Grass is Greener
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